The Weekly Three

Just wanted to give all y'all three people who might read this a heads-up that I've started a NEW BLOG called The Weekly Three over at http://theweeklythree.tumblr.com http://theweeklythree.blogspot.com (fuck Tumblr, Blogger is much more suited to this thang). Serious Bummer will still remain (semi-) active. Basically, the gist of The Weekly Three is that over the course of each week, I'll post my thoughts on three great albums I happen to be currently enjoying. They'll be new, old, obscure and obvious; universally acclaimed classics and guilty pleasures. Hope I can maintain under the crushing pressure of having to post THREE blog posts a week, but, y'know, it's Tumblr, so these ain't essays or nothin'.

Anyhow, that's that. The Weekly Three. Simple; dumb. You know, a blog.

Obamarama

From our new Prez:

I will also hold myself as President to a new standard of openness. Going forward, anytime the American people want to know something that I or a former President wants to withhold, we will have to consult with the Attorney General and the White House Counsel, whose business it is to ensure compliance with the rule of law. Information will not be withheld just because I say so. It will be withheld because a separate authority believes my request is well grounded in the Constitution.

Let me say it as simply as I can: Transparency and the rule of law will be the touchstones of this presidency.

Our commitment to openness means more than simply informing the American people about how decisions are made. It means recognizing that government does not have all the answers, and that public officials need to draw on what citizens know. And that's why, as of today, I'm directing members of my administration to find new ways of tapping the knowledge and experience of ordinary Americans — scientists and civic leaders, educators and entrepreneurs — because the way to solve the problem of our time is — the way to solve the problems of our time, as one nation, is by involving the American people in shaping the policies that affect their lives.

The executive orders and directives I'm issuing today will not by themselves make government as honest and transparent as it needs to be. And they do not go as far as we need to go towards restoring accountability and fiscal restraint in Washington. But these historic measures do mark the beginning of a new era of openness in our country. And I will, I hope, do something to make government trustworthy in the eyes of the American people in the days and weeks, months and years to come. That's a pretty good place to start.

Refreshing, ain't it?

Scion Rock Fest: Whaaa?

Uhh, HOLY SHIT. I mean, I'm not that much of a metalhead, but that lineup is bananas. Boris, Neurosis, Converge, High On Fire? Pig Destroyer? Wolves In The motha-effin' Throne Room? Georgia boys made good Mastodon, Harvey Milk, Baroness, Zoroaster and Kylesa? And it's FREE? I'm already feeling the head-busting, gut-punching urge welling up inside me, and it ain't even February yet. To bring you down a notch, Vice and Toyota (ugh, really? Is this what live music has come to?) wish to make it clear that tickets, albeit free and supposedly readily available, do not guarantee admission to this unholy, face-melting twelve-hour event; obviously, they're prepared for thousands and thousands of crusters converging (pun INTENDED) on our fair city that day. Evs. It's time to crack some skulls. LET'S DO THIS.

Can you believe it?

Well, it's finally happened. Our eight long, tortuous years with that madman are over. We all knew it was going to happen, but to see it actually take place, well, that's something else entirely.

Our National Hero, Barack Hussein Obama, took the oath of office and made that shit official as all hell. He delivered a stirring, brilliant oration that nonetheless lacked the emotional punch of prior speeches, conveying instead in no uncertain terms the stark reality of the upward battle we face as a nation, torn and beaten-down but not yet beaten. That he manages to actually inspire a true sense of patriotism amongst even those most hardened of critics with his brand of pro-American rhetoric, rather than diminish it to near-non-existence (à la the aforementioned madman) is amazing in itself; we are mindful, though, of the severe challenges he faces - we face - in restoring a sense of truth and justice about ourselves.

By far, the best part of the inaugural proceedings was Rev. Lowery's benediction. Far exceeding in both poetic depth and prayerfulness previous attempts by Rick Warren and "inaugural poet" Elizabeth Alexander, his closing lines were beautiful and deceptively simple:

Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man... and when white will embrace what is right.

Let all those who do justice and love mercy say amen.

It remains to be seen whether or not our new President can or will be able to reach even half the admittedly lofty goals that have been set for our near future. For now, we can celebrate knowing we have been a part of history indeed, and that true Hope is not yet beyond our reach.

Sippin' white wine in 2009

It's a new year! Really, it's a new age. To put it into perspective, 1999 was ten years ago. And that Prince album came out twenty-seven years ago. Basically, we're now living in the future, minus all that cool shit (FLYING CARS) the future was supposed to bring.

GWB, we can't quit you!

While the blinding glare of their initial brilliance may have begun to slowly fade over the past few years, every once in a while The Onion proves they've still got it.

Don't fade on me, Sparks!

Gawker reports that Sparks, that SweetTartsian alcoholic energy beverage much maligned and beloved by purists and hipsters, respectively, will cease to exist as we know it come the new year:

The agreement with 13 states and the city of San Francisco calls for MillerCoors to discontinue manufacturing and marketing all caffeinated alcoholic beverages, including Sparks as currently formulated, by Jan. 10, 2009. The group of states does not include Wisconsin.

That's right, Roy. San Francisco! This is somewhat of a bittersweet moment for me, as I'm sure it is for many of you as well, although I can't say with complete honesty that I'm sorry to see it go. I've been pretty much off the stuff for some time, but recall many a Sparks-fueled haze, complete with, among countless other drawbacks, increased heart rate, ungovernable self-loathing, uncontrollable outbursts of anger and/or euphoria and, plainly, general irresponsible behavior all around. Likewise, I have witnessed firsthand the havoc the seemingly innocent orange liquid is capable of wreaking on friends and colleagues alike. Perhaps it is simply Sparks' time to go, as so many novelty beverages before it... ah, who am I kidding? I want one right now. Anyone up for moving to Wisconsin? Sure, it's cold as all hell in the winter, but the cheese. Imagine all the cheese.

UPDATE: I misunderstood the article. Seems as though Sparks will remain on the market, albeit minus any caffeine, ginseng, etc. So basically, it'll just be a shitty orange-flavored can of malt liquor. However, stores will continue to be able to sell current inventories of Sparks complete with all the good stuff, so BUY IT UP WHILE YOU STILL CAN. SERIOUSLY.

Sports in Spurts, 12/18/08

Ole Miss men's basketball coach Andy Kennedy was arrested early this morning in Cincinnati for allegedly punching a cab driver in the face while "shouting racial slurs." Geesh! Kennedy is of course denying the charges, but they're probably true.

In your FACE!

I'm sure most of you have already heard about the first face transplant ever performed in the United States (those wacky French and industrious Chinese beat us to the punch a few years ago, one piece of evidence is shown above). And, like you, I think the story's neat and gross and all (the new face came off a corpse, y'all!), but what I really want is PICTURES. This one sounds more extreme than the others that have been undertaken, with "80 percent of the woman's face" replaced. America wants to see it!

Best "face" pun wins a melty ice cream cone. I'll start: Sounds like those doctors had a real FACE OFF with modern medicine on this task!

WTF Alert

I want to say I'm making this up, but I'm pretty sure I'm watching Adam Sandler cover Neil Young's "Like a Hurricane" on Letterman, backed by Dave's band - and pretty much killing it, complete with a reasonably rippin' solo. He kind of sounds like J. Mascis in certain parts? There must be a reasonable explanation.

UPDATE: Now with video!